You know what is, you know what it was.....

One of my former favorite songs by Jill Scott had the lyrics you know what it, you know what it was. It was an attempt to recall the past history, the mutual lust in order to recapture what had obviously been but no longer was. Case in point my conversation with a man this week. A former flame if you will. I said with confidence I am not interested in sex. I told him "people always wanna changes other folks. You cannot change anyone that does not want to be changed". I had this conversation with him at least twice already in one week. So I asked why he continues to pursue me when I have no intention to have sex with him or any other man for that matter. Yet this fool still didn't grasp it. Maybe a few years ago when I wasn't saved I would have. Wait a few years ago I wasn't save and now I am. This is the part where I pause to give God the Glory! ...............And we're back. So of course I have to be on "B.S" Of course I am bogus, wrong and every other derogatory statement. One thing I am is a more mature woman in God who will not sacrifice the temple that I prayed to God to rest his Holy Spirit in, for sin. Nope I am not the one. I made that conversation my last with him. For good. We are not on the same page and he was definitely not trying get on mine. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. Yep I got rid of that distraction and kept it moving. I got a work to do. Stay Blessed. Holla!

Once upon a time......

Not that I feel this way........but if you ever feel like you cannot get over someone or you feel totally betrayed, afraid to love or afraid to trust get over it with the Lord. Not with another man or woman. Seeking another individual who has the potential to disappoint you will only lead to more disappointment. When I lost love I felt like my world had fell apart. I did not eat and I could not sleep. Everything that is in the movies that I thought was so stupid.... happened to me. I could not wrap my mind around this person's potential to lie to me. I could not believe that he was capable of hurting me the way he did. I felt that everything perfect swiftly slipped through my fingers. My future,my rock was all gone. So let's evaluate the situation. Observation 1: A rock on your finger means nothing until you say I DO. Observation 2: It is okay to love hard. What is not okay is that you cannot survive without the other individual. I literally was shaken to the core in how I was unable to cope. He had been my rock. Who should be your rock? JESUS. Observation 3: I let what happen to me tear me down instead of build me up. That brings me to today. Today I can talk to the "big elephant" without having to feel insecure, without remorse and I'm pretty sure the feeling of rejection has finally been lifted. To be able to speak with him has nothing to do with what we had. But shows me I am a survivor. I was moved to trust God. To trust his will for my life. I know that contrary to what people think my love for God has to be stronger than my love for a man. Last time I checked that was called idolatry.

I plead to every woman who has had her heart broken to meet Jesus. Find out for yourself that He will fix your broken heart.

I pray Lord God today that every soul that is missing or yearning for love find it in you. God, that you give this person the strength and the will to move on. If anyone of us has something in us that is not like you that you remove it. God that your will be done and that we live according to your call. God I pray for holiness amongst your people. Last but not least God I pray for peace and a sound mind. In the name of JESUS, Amen.

I was stripped and my soul lay bare yet I found the Lord. He turned my situation around. He placed my mind on things of the Kingdom. I am still a work in progress and I love the Lord for that. Stay blessed.

To what do I owe this pleasure

In the middle of my work day I have to pause and write this post. Before I go into details I like to get my initial response to situations down and after reviewing what's going on compare notes. So I am in Walgreens getting pantyhose and I run into a past "friend". I have been knowing him a long time but let's just say we were a tad bit more than friends. Anyway nothing to brag about. My first response to hearing him call my name was not "oh heeey friend". I thought to myself oh snap what is going on? Why all of a sudden and I must write it as it comes to me), All these men want to come back into my life. Huh what's going on? Feel like I am in the twilight zone. Dude is calling me as I type this. Observation 1: I do not like this. I don't know what these visitations from the past mean. Observation 2: He is still up to his old ways. Can't teach an old dog new tricks. Observation 3: I need to chill. So glad I am going out tonight. I almost tricked myself into not going. But you know what? Living this life once so making the best out of it. Gotta go back to work. Stay blessed.