Here and Now

In a previous post I said "I feel anxious about the things I long for and at the moment are not tangible". In my abscense things have been just about the same but a tad better. For once I have my friend back! I'm smiling thinking about it. I am extremely happy to have a human being to share my aspirations, and my feelings with. But with this I have to take baby step. I can tell my friend anything I want. I know that all my secrets are safe and I knwo my friend has my back at all times. Not to mention my friend drops some profound wisdom. The thing I like most is that my friendship allows me to be obedient to God's command. I noticed the Lord constantly reminds us how to treat one another. To be kind and have symapthy and compassion. How we treat each other is a top priorty in God's law. These days it is refreshing to know that someone doesn't have a hidden agenda to use me or harm me. I only want the best for my friend. With that said it is with a heavy heart that I be just what I'm asked. Dear God help me! I see everything for what it is but I must as a good friend wait....patiently/ impatiently. I have this feeling and when you knwo what's good for someone and they can't see it does something to your insides. As they say. Practice makes perfect. Practice being a good friend.

Heavy heart.

Yours truly is at a cross road. But first let me start by saying the dvil thinks he has me. Epic Fail. I am still a child of God. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I must be of good courage and know that during this time God is not failing me. He has all power and at the due time I will be freed. What sucks is I knew it was coming but I want to be prepared. i want to have all my ducks in a row. Issues yesterday as I came to the realization that you cannot do business with family. Furthermore it is just too late for some people. There was a big argument and basically I am over the drama in my family. Next I go hgome without an outlet to disperse my emotions. Then I have a dream about being frustrated on my wedding day. The dream just amde me feel anxious about the things i long for and at the moment are not tangible. My dream forced me to face my heart but also address the lonliness i feel right now. At the moment I feel like Paul. Whenver I do good, evil is always present. Not saying that I am doing evil but it lurkes waiting to destory joy and peace. Evil waits for the oppurtunity to strtegically deliver blow after blow. Sigh, So I feel out of place, trying to stay strong and keep my salvation. I am sad at my circumstances. I need a word from the Lord.Pray for me. Stay tuned for the praise report.