Snowsflakes

Merry Christmas to everyone. I will not take a pause but before I get have to say it. Remember Christmas is more than just gifts and stressing over making other happy. It is allabout our saviour. He did just for us. For God so loved the world .....and you know the rest. Well if you don;t He gave His only begotten son and who shall ever call on Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. Focus on that. Hopefully you will manage as I try to keep your head up. Focus on what's important and move forward into another year and another season.

Do not pass go! Do not collect $200

A monopoly. Plain and simple. Living a life of monopoly is just not right. That is just how I feel. There are too many circles. And just like the game you may make it one round but once you pass go your goal is to get back there again without incident. Whatever obstacle, challenge, or test in life the goal is to pass it. Achieving such feats is great joy until you realize what my pastor sometime says " After this there is gonna be something and after something, there is gonna be something else." So in other words it is a never ending cycle. Is it safe to say that someone has to lose? I mean in the game there has to be a loser except for those rare occassions when everyone has played the game so well that it becomes pointless and nearly impossible to find a loser.

I may have mentioned this before but I am just reflecting and I do this often but mostyl without much action. So I discovered that I need to be a little more proactive. Say no whenever possible and required. That ahs been a big issue of mine. Not a people pleaser just need to learn how to put me first. Next would be need to cut loose ties . And I mean loose so loose that they cause more confusion than good and ultimately requires to much work and I don't have time for that.

Let me explain. Anyone in your life who is not giving you 100% has to go. I do not care what they talk about or how they smooth you over just cut it.

Because I am starting to feel a little down. I will need to continue this thought at a later time

Who am I?

The question is very simple and the answer so complex. Sometimes the question is answered with more questions? What do I do? What am I doing? Why am I doing this? How can I change it? Hmmmmm drink for thought. I cannot answer that question clearly. Recently I have heard two sermons on identity crisis. After the first I was reeled back into my God ordained place. I was going strong. Doing everything I was suppose to do. I mean no point in straying because afterwhile it will be found out that I am not who people think I am nor do I fit the prototype of who I was posing as. Immediately, no matter what I do, eventually I would be found as an imposter. I simply do not belong in the world of sin. But the real question is what do you do when you find the place you know you belong but still feel like an outsider? The thought goes beyond a personal issue it is blatant truth. Feeling like an outside as a believer in a believer's world is nothing to take likely. This I have learned. One week,maybe over a week I was on fire. I mean on fire,fire. So much so that when what came next arrived I was so shocked. I mean it's something when you shock yourself. You learn what you are truly capable of. But I will be honest. To live in sin when you know that it is not your cup of tea....period is downright frightening. As I am in the middle of this, like I have no control, I prayed, I cried I prayed again, I shouted just to see if I still had it. And I do so what is this? Two beasts one body? You here it all the time. Saved on Sunday. Sinner Monday-Saturday. I used to hate it when people say that. Not that it was directed at me. But I can fully understand how something as such comes about. But people in that position don't need scolding they need guidance. Help. A way out. I know Jesus is the way. But faith without works is dead. The desire to get out and the desire to stay in are both overpowered by the desire to do both. So ask this question. How in world does someone know they want to do right but can't quite come full circle? Paul said it best when I do right evil is always present. This isn't over. But my lunch break is. I will continue this thought later. Stay blessed.

Just a reminder

This is bad. Especially since I have been thinking that my heart is healed and I have no damage or baggage, I was free! Right?.......Wrong.

So I get a knot in my stomach and say to myself Lord Please please help me get rid of this. I liken it to residue. When I was a little girl my grandmother would make us scrub the batntub with Ajsx. I hated that stuff. I would scrub my heart out bent over in that tub for thirty minutes. Rinse it. Run the shower on it and proclaim it clean. Grandma would come in bend over swipe the sides with her hands and have white residue on her fingers. Looked clean. But not really clean. Sigh had to clean it again. That's how I feel right now. I thought I was good but emotional scars are apparent. I hate fear. I don't want to be crippled by it. I don't want to scare somebody off. This man calls when he says he will. Calls unexpectedly and most importantly I don't have to chase him. I am not sure if anyone gets where I'm coming from but I am not sitting at home wondering if he's going to call because he will. That is so refreshing. So then you ask...what is your problem? My problem needs to be addressed so I write it here. My problem which I don't think has come full circle needs to be nipped right away.

I am scared of being abandoned. Scared of being rejected. These things swallow me as I try to move in what appears to be a very serious pursuit. All of this is from the aftermath of my last relationship which was three years ago. I feel like I am a really good woman. I feel like I give my best in everything. But having these thoughts is not giving my best. Having these thoughts hinder progression. I know it is a part of my self development but don't want to ruin things in the process. So this issue is present and it is yet another hurtle for me to get over. Sigh, I thought I had gotten over all my emotional issus. But this issue is present for a reason. And rightfully so at this time. Which means it's go time. It's time to decided whether or not I'm going to continue to see what the end is or am I going to crawl into bed and pull the blankets over my eyes. I am not going to get anxious. Not going to get scared. Not going to freak out. Because this person gets a clean slate. He does not deserve to have to deal with the residue. He didn't create it and it's not his job to clean it up. I look to the hills from which comes my help, my help comes from the lord. So in all my ways I acknowledge Him. Even now, to help me because I know this is apparent and I know that God will get the glory out of this. So I pray, God heal my heart, rid these thoughts and feelings from me. Lord I know you have a plan and this negativity is not in it. Wash me and make me clean, in Jesus name, Amen.


I hope all with a similar situation prays this prayer as well. Even if you feel that you have done something to make you feel unworthy God still loves you. He still has His hand on you. His mercy is everlasting and He will see you through. Till next time stay blessed.

just a quick thought,

I've turned the situation around with my "friend". I found that I was not willing to completely depart from him just yet. But i knew things could not continue on the way they have. The mess turned into a mission. Things between us are pretty solid and I feel good about that. Our friendship is stronger and I feel we can maintain it without lust. I wondered before making my decision if it would work out and it has. It just goes to show that God can turn a bad thing into a good thing. Now my focus is on encouragement, enlightment and being a good friend. My hope is that he will get saved. Stop smoking and live the life God wants for him. He is on the right track. I laid it all out for him and WE decided it was best that we not engage in such behavior anymore. Can someone say redemption?! To be on one accord is so wonderful. I am happy with this. When deciding between wrong and right. Right is better. It is better for the soul. In the meantime I have been examing myself and have had a few revelations. Some I wanted to dismiss but knew it was me. I knew that every single thing described me. I have prayed Lord help me to not be this person. What sucks is I didn't realize that who I was had a title. I thought I was just jacked up but apparently this is something that happens often and the only ONE to wash me clean is the Lord. So if you think you're sqeeky think a again. Everybody has a little bit of dirt. I just thank God for his Mercy and Grace. Put God first as the head of your life!. I have a list of things that are not of righteousness in me. I am going to pray God reveal to me how to challenge these things and the wipe me clean. As he does I am going to check them off. I had been praying for God's Holy Spirit wondering why it hadnt come. Now I know. Can you light a damp match? NOT AT ALL. As I pray these things I challenge everyone to make a list of things in you that you know are not of God and pray that he will take ALL things away that are not like him. Pray with me. Peace.

No voids.

I am going to try to close this chapter off but first with an update. First I sinned against God. Not to say that as a proclamation but actually it came as a confirmation. I was not quite convinced that my action had repercussion until God showed me in a dream. I felt so horrible after this dream. The dream had me scared straight if you will but the Lord does not show things to scare but more so to teach and to build a person up. I feel like I can't let anything get in my way and this entire situation has done so. If you recall my previous posts were mainly all about the future and the greatness of God and how everyone should get to know Him. Flashback to say April and whew have things changed. Without trying to seem all over the place let me explain. I began speaking with someone from my past. He has opened my eyes to so many things. Specifically forgiveness. I think that after what was set out to be done had passed he and I took it further than what it should at this particular time. This had become a situation that required baby steps but WE took matters into our own hands. Having said that I positioned myself to receive the revelation that was coming. I had a dream that sums up what God wanted me to know. 1)Disobedience leads to death. The bible says the wages of sin is death and if you are a believer you are for sure not only sinning but being disobedient. 2) God said that WE (he and I) needed to take our troubles to Him and not try to solve them with each other. For myself it was a loneliness like non other. Before I knew it I was consumed with a thirst for companionship which started out seemingly innocent enough but quickly turned into something other than the original plan. For him it was unhappiness and uncertainty. Given I am not so happy about my situation. It is okay to confide in another human being but ultimately the course of our lives are directed by God. Having said that we pretty much tried to solve our issues with each other. Unfortunately God did not reveal to me my friend's specific needs. Which is a good thing because had I known I would have tried to fix them. Which is not what God wants. He wants us to come to Him with all our problems. Both of our situations had reached a boiling point almost simultaneously. Me, tired of the single life and just ready to relax and not work so hard. And I don't care what any feminists says because I am speaking for myself. I am sick of dragging heavy loads of laundry. Or taking out the garbage and cleaning a filthy garbage can. See just writing those sentences have raised my temperature because I feel extremely sad about this. I have to remind myself to be patient but before I know it.... I'm wondering when my turn will come. I hope that I've learned my lesson which is do not take matters into my own hands. Especially since I am very naive and impressionable. That in itself is a whole other subject. I wonder when all my wisdom and understanding will come. Every time I think I've grown a little situations as such remind me of how far I have to go. Luckily I confided in the 'Superstar', who didn't just give the I told you so but broke everything down for me and helped me see the error of my ways. She did not judge me but told me to ask for forgiveness , don't condemn myself but be strong and keep it moving. I thank God that she answered my call and gave me what I needed. I am still a little scared. i don't want something like this to happen again. I pray it doesn't. I just realized how feeble minded I am and that is scary. I am just afraid of going left when I should go right. In the meantime I told my friend what God wants us to do. I am trying my best to do my part and I can only pray for him. Now I'm trying to figure out whether or not I should be disconnected from him. Our bond is very strong. I still don't have the answer. I finished all this craziness with a reading from the Bible. If you ever think about how to live an upright life ..read 1 Peter in its entirety. Pray for me.

Not looking good......

Right now my life is a blank stare. Looking in one direction but going no where in particular. It is so unfortunate when people say "You let the devil use you" It is heart breaking when you hear it from God. That's exactly what happened. I have more question then accusations from the whole scenario. Number one question.... Why am I the one being "used" by the devil? Am I so spiritually mal nourished that I can't see these things coming. I so weak right now cause I think I am weak, I really have this notion in my mind that if I had been a "Seasoned saint" this type of siuation could have easily been avoided. My next question is do I drop everything I am doing because of this mishap? I feel that I don't deserve the opportunity to serve right now. I feel like I need a break. Mostly to mend my heart but also because things should not snap so fast and its making me aware that something is going on. The the thought of the conclusion tears me up inside. The whole thing is horrible. But I am constantly being reminded that this isn't the first nor the last time my feelings will be hurt. So I bundle that with past pain that rears it's ugly head in comparison to new and the fact that I am tired of being blind sided by these woes. This leads to my initial question. What is it that needs to change? I know their is not such things as being perfect for all fall short but it's another thing to know that the current state is not my best. If it were I could accept it but something in my gut is saying I am not suppose be going through this.......Pray for me.

Perfection

I know I am not perfect. When I look in the mirror (which happens a lot more often than it used to) I feel good. Only because I know there is not anybody else out there like me. Next point...... I know that we all have our quirks but I am just about tired of lazy, self absorbed thinking the the most when I can care the least, people. Got that...good. You see I yearn for a society that does not apologize for stupid behavior. Case in point. A lady works as child mental health worker. (She has a bigger title but let's some it up as that). For some reason she decided to take a break from it and go into the family business-dry cleaning. What made her come to her senses was dealing with a customer who flipped out and had a tantrum over buttons incorrectly positioned on the shirt. She thought to herself how she had an education, could be a far better help to those with real issues. Not pieces of metal on a garment that cost 2 cents to make but you probably paid a $100+ for thus entitling you to act like a toddler. She quit on the spot. It burns me to no end when people act like this. But as I examine my current situation and that of the lady I sum everything up to this. Are you working at your full potential? Right now I feel like this. A: I'm about to be ooouuttt! Throwing up deuces cause I am sick of this crap. Everybody with one inkling (spell check) of getting out of a sour relationship whether it be man, woman, work etc. Get your boots and get to walking because you will never be satisfied. Don't worry about the people talking smack cause they mad they don;t have the guts to make a move. Let's go higher and remember don't look back..........Holla!!!!

Here and Now

In a previous post I said "I feel anxious about the things I long for and at the moment are not tangible". In my abscense things have been just about the same but a tad better. For once I have my friend back! I'm smiling thinking about it. I am extremely happy to have a human being to share my aspirations, and my feelings with. But with this I have to take baby step. I can tell my friend anything I want. I know that all my secrets are safe and I knwo my friend has my back at all times. Not to mention my friend drops some profound wisdom. The thing I like most is that my friendship allows me to be obedient to God's command. I noticed the Lord constantly reminds us how to treat one another. To be kind and have symapthy and compassion. How we treat each other is a top priorty in God's law. These days it is refreshing to know that someone doesn't have a hidden agenda to use me or harm me. I only want the best for my friend. With that said it is with a heavy heart that I be just what I'm asked. Dear God help me! I see everything for what it is but I must as a good friend wait....patiently/ impatiently. I have this feeling and when you knwo what's good for someone and they can't see it does something to your insides. As they say. Practice makes perfect. Practice being a good friend.

Heavy heart.

Yours truly is at a cross road. But first let me start by saying the dvil thinks he has me. Epic Fail. I am still a child of God. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I must be of good courage and know that during this time God is not failing me. He has all power and at the due time I will be freed. What sucks is I knew it was coming but I want to be prepared. i want to have all my ducks in a row. Issues yesterday as I came to the realization that you cannot do business with family. Furthermore it is just too late for some people. There was a big argument and basically I am over the drama in my family. Next I go hgome without an outlet to disperse my emotions. Then I have a dream about being frustrated on my wedding day. The dream just amde me feel anxious about the things i long for and at the moment are not tangible. My dream forced me to face my heart but also address the lonliness i feel right now. At the moment I feel like Paul. Whenver I do good, evil is always present. Not saying that I am doing evil but it lurkes waiting to destory joy and peace. Evil waits for the oppurtunity to strtegically deliver blow after blow. Sigh, So I feel out of place, trying to stay strong and keep my salvation. I am sad at my circumstances. I need a word from the Lord.Pray for me. Stay tuned for the praise report.

You know what is, you know what it was.....

One of my former favorite songs by Jill Scott had the lyrics you know what it, you know what it was. It was an attempt to recall the past history, the mutual lust in order to recapture what had obviously been but no longer was. Case in point my conversation with a man this week. A former flame if you will. I said with confidence I am not interested in sex. I told him "people always wanna changes other folks. You cannot change anyone that does not want to be changed". I had this conversation with him at least twice already in one week. So I asked why he continues to pursue me when I have no intention to have sex with him or any other man for that matter. Yet this fool still didn't grasp it. Maybe a few years ago when I wasn't saved I would have. Wait a few years ago I wasn't save and now I am. This is the part where I pause to give God the Glory! ...............And we're back. So of course I have to be on "B.S" Of course I am bogus, wrong and every other derogatory statement. One thing I am is a more mature woman in God who will not sacrifice the temple that I prayed to God to rest his Holy Spirit in, for sin. Nope I am not the one. I made that conversation my last with him. For good. We are not on the same page and he was definitely not trying get on mine. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. Yep I got rid of that distraction and kept it moving. I got a work to do. Stay Blessed. Holla!

Once upon a time......

Not that I feel this way........but if you ever feel like you cannot get over someone or you feel totally betrayed, afraid to love or afraid to trust get over it with the Lord. Not with another man or woman. Seeking another individual who has the potential to disappoint you will only lead to more disappointment. When I lost love I felt like my world had fell apart. I did not eat and I could not sleep. Everything that is in the movies that I thought was so stupid.... happened to me. I could not wrap my mind around this person's potential to lie to me. I could not believe that he was capable of hurting me the way he did. I felt that everything perfect swiftly slipped through my fingers. My future,my rock was all gone. So let's evaluate the situation. Observation 1: A rock on your finger means nothing until you say I DO. Observation 2: It is okay to love hard. What is not okay is that you cannot survive without the other individual. I literally was shaken to the core in how I was unable to cope. He had been my rock. Who should be your rock? JESUS. Observation 3: I let what happen to me tear me down instead of build me up. That brings me to today. Today I can talk to the "big elephant" without having to feel insecure, without remorse and I'm pretty sure the feeling of rejection has finally been lifted. To be able to speak with him has nothing to do with what we had. But shows me I am a survivor. I was moved to trust God. To trust his will for my life. I know that contrary to what people think my love for God has to be stronger than my love for a man. Last time I checked that was called idolatry.

I plead to every woman who has had her heart broken to meet Jesus. Find out for yourself that He will fix your broken heart.

I pray Lord God today that every soul that is missing or yearning for love find it in you. God, that you give this person the strength and the will to move on. If anyone of us has something in us that is not like you that you remove it. God that your will be done and that we live according to your call. God I pray for holiness amongst your people. Last but not least God I pray for peace and a sound mind. In the name of JESUS, Amen.

I was stripped and my soul lay bare yet I found the Lord. He turned my situation around. He placed my mind on things of the Kingdom. I am still a work in progress and I love the Lord for that. Stay blessed.

To what do I owe this pleasure

In the middle of my work day I have to pause and write this post. Before I go into details I like to get my initial response to situations down and after reviewing what's going on compare notes. So I am in Walgreens getting pantyhose and I run into a past "friend". I have been knowing him a long time but let's just say we were a tad bit more than friends. Anyway nothing to brag about. My first response to hearing him call my name was not "oh heeey friend". I thought to myself oh snap what is going on? Why all of a sudden and I must write it as it comes to me), All these men want to come back into my life. Huh what's going on? Feel like I am in the twilight zone. Dude is calling me as I type this. Observation 1: I do not like this. I don't know what these visitations from the past mean. Observation 2: He is still up to his old ways. Can't teach an old dog new tricks. Observation 3: I need to chill. So glad I am going out tonight. I almost tricked myself into not going. But you know what? Living this life once so making the best out of it. Gotta go back to work. Stay blessed.

The Great Fall

So here I was talking about emotions walls (see previous post). Only to find out that I have been fooling myself all along. (PAUSE) When you think you know something, you know nothing at all. (PLAY) I distinctly remember my pastor saying :I see two brick walls. and I see those walls falling like a curtain". Well my previous onset of emotional feelings that I tried wholeheartedly to not take over me came in a mighty flood. So much that I was praising God one moment and the next I was in the most vulnerable state that I think I've ever been in my adult life. I stood strong in praise and in the next minute I was on the floor. I literally became weak in the needs as if my body could not stand to hold itself up anymore. I found myself surrendering to God's will. I found myself purging out all the feelings I had and simply put I was crying like a baby. Emotional walls do not solve problems but suppress and never address the issue head on. Not that it was any of my own doing but I thank God for the experience. I thank him because it increased my faith and afterward I felt very light and weak and I realized how much it took a toll on me. In the last two days I have had some very good sleep. I've had uninterrupted sleep that I haven't felt in a long time. I say all of this because I cannot plea enough that God is good. Whatever you desire of him He has just for you. I declared that I would not leave the way I came and I didn't. That was round one. Stay tuned for round 2. Stay Blessed.

Breathing

Man am I an emotional wreck. First I hope that it is just my hormones. Secondly if it is I'm glad, means everything is working properly. Third I hope I am not trying to avoid the situation and blame the feeling I can not shake on hormones. One moment I'm like yes Lord. You are in control- you got this and the next I am like Lord what is the meaning, the purpose if any behind all of this. I am not double minded but I certainly a little unstable right now. I have no desire to get invloved in worldly things. If anything this whole situation puts my role in the kingdom into perspective. It is that dedication on the inside of me that keeps me grounded and is helping me to not lose control. Get it together girl. Emotional walls. Emotional walls. At least I can manage a sense of humor. Well gotta go back to work. TTYL. Stay Blessed.

Had some time to think

I thought about deleting my previous post. I decided to leave it and exactly the way it is. Writing is an outlet. As I am writing this I hear clearly the past is the past. I have needs and desires and dreams just as the next person and those needs will be met. As I driving to work today, I periodically paused to read the bible. My need to reach for the word was the aftermath of the flood of emotions I experienced the previous evening. I mean I was in the zone. I needed to exercise my faith because my day would be unproductive and I would be in a cloud for most of it if I didn't. I thought about where I wanted to go. Would a particular path lead me there. I thought about how anxious I felt. I said to myself that God knows. He knows what's going to happen. He knows the direction I am going. I just don't. At least not with certainty. What i know with certainty is the word of God is the truth. It says "if you abide in me and my word abides in you can ask what you please and it will be done unto you"(John 15:7) With that being said I have made known the desires of my heart. God will fulfill these needs and desires according to his will and according to riches and glory. I think I will rest well tonight knowing that he is Able. not only that but able to do exceeding abundantly...... And as I finish this writing I pray for comfort and wise decisions in the name of Jesus Christ. Good night.

Shock and awww

I recently had some ecounters that truly have me stumped. I know exactly what I don't want but I cannot honestly say I am 100% sure of what I do want. Partly due to my trust that God has the will and not me. So I am trying to be careful and not overstep my boundaries. I feel like I am walking around in the dark trying to find the light. I had an unexpected call this morning that had my co workers thinking something was wrong with me. I had a very long conversation that lasted maybe 3 hours. It was refreshing. After finishing the call my mind begin to do its thing. It begin to race. I felt so uneasy, nervous and at the same time I did not know what I felt. With so many thoughts running through my mind I heard a voice say "trust in the lord with all your heart and lead not unto your own understanding" Then I said how Lord. How? After all this time I thought I would never ever hear from this person again. Although this person lives the next town over I still made it up in my mind that encounters where out of the question and that was my saving grace. I was able to release my feelings, so I thought. Let me spit it out. I do not know whos is working and this bothers me. Is the lord working on my behalf or is the enemy trying to distract me. Do i need to be patient? Only time will tell.

In case you missed it

And now for intermission......I like the word intermission....anyway. Now Since I've been gone for quite some time, need to drop some knowledge. You know how people say the same thing over and over again. And at some point you begin to think it's true. Well I hope you have that experience after the following message. God is Good. Ain't nobody like Him. Believe me when I say believe Him. He will keep you in perfect peace. Never in my life have I felt so content and so confident. Usually I am very dissappointed cause folks just be lying but now I found God. And I'm glad He was there to be found (He was there all the time). Thank you Jesus. I dare you to try him. I love Jesus! I'm am so happy. Things look brighter than ever. I feel a joy that I am carefully protecting. The enemy tried to intervene but I know to stop him in his tracks. So many thoughts but I had to come and chat for a second I needed to get that off my chest. That is all. Back to our regularly scheduled program.

A Glimpse

The other day it rained. Prior to that the temps were in the 50-60's. In February? In a region that just experienced a blizzard? Yes, that's what happened. As I left service I could smell the rain. It was a wonderful smell. An unfamiliar one after not having rain in quite some while. I sort of rejoiced in that. Besides I was in a great mood after hearing the word of God. Of course rain can make your 'do turn into a poof and may damage your shoes but what is the purpose of this rain? Well in regards to spring it is a sign of things to come. It is a reminder that it has to come in order for thing to grow. It is a sign that this is the process and without this process growth will be halted. Could you imagine looking at bare trees all year long. The grass as dark as the pavement. Although I may be a little discouraged by the gloominess that sometimes accompanies rain I know that the outcome is great. Hmmm. So what's all the talk about rain? Well Without giving too much detail , something I was interested in just was not for me. At that time. I went through the whole process and as I was putting on the finishing touches I kind of drowned out the voice of the person assisting me(sorry JC). But I didn't do it intentionally. I paused because I saw me. In a different time. A time where I actually had what I was looking for. I didn't just see myself I felt myself. I felt how it would feel when this one thing would be done. I can feel myself without a burden. I felt myself beaming from in the inside. Oh Jesus! I saw myself without chains! I knew from then on out that yes this is for me. I received confirmation that maybe not at this moment. Not in this day but surely it will come. And when it does I'm coming out with my hands up! I will beam from the inside. I will walk in a ray of sunshine. And the smile on my face that looked liked it hurt will not be a vision but reality. Hmmm. If things seem gloomy I know at the end there is a rainbow and by faith I Will have grown. Matter a fact that little tid bit of rain just brought out a root. A root to keep me firmly planted in the kingdom of God. It was like a taste. And now I'm thirsty. Thirsty because I know God is able. MATTER OF FACT HE IS ABLE TO DO EXCEEDING ABUNDANTLY ABOVE ALL THAT I CAN ASK OR THINK AND THE POWER WORKETH IN ME. THANK YOU JESUS! Any way I'm Thirsty because I know I cannot stop until my thirst is quenched! Oh taste and see that the lord is good. (Psalms 34:8) Continue to feast on the Word of God. Have a blessed day.

My powerful tool is my mind. I know thAt in my head I can see things, think things and be whaever I want. Guess what I found out. The enemy knows. Has been knowing and the last tens years of my life has been his attempt to destroy the wonderful gift god has given me. It's no wonder that I dream things and find out that they are true. For instance my ex fiancé was cheating on me. I had just found out and although he apologized and promised to move on something was not right. I dreamed the woman he cheated with was pregnant. No I did not dream of fish. I dreamed of pregnancy. I told him about it and he shrugged it off. A few weeks later he tells me I was right and he did not want to believe me but knew thAt whenever I dreamed something it was going to happen. He was hoping I was wrong but sure enough thAt woman was pregnant. Unfortunately she had a miscarriage. One time i dreamed my sister invited us to her new house. She had that house decked out on fish. What do you think was going on? Fish paintings multiple fish tanks, a piano with keys inside of a fish mouth. Fish everywhere. I told my mother about this but we figured it was someone else and thought the chance of my sister having a baby was very unlikely. Well in sep 2010 my niece my little poopa pants was born. A few weeks prior to her birth my siistermoved into a new place in the south . So what do I think of all is.? God has been showing slowly but steadily what he wants me to do. My job?use the gift to glorify god. I become caught up with what's in my mind easier then anything going on outside of it. WhT do I have to say about That? Use me lord. Whatever your perfect will let it be done. I still have dreams but I now have visions. The spirit of the lord visits me at all times and so much so I can hardly tAke it. My next agenda, figure out how to put my feelings aside to reveal to others the vision god had given me for their life.
Bak to that ol devil. He thinks he will rMe my mind. But I am about done with him stealing from me. He comes to kill steal and destroy. But I Am NOT THE ONE.!

People have spoken so many thing into my life even when I did't believe and when I was to afraid to stand firm on the word of god. The lord is not finish with me yet. In my eyes I am I'll prepared and too shy but god makes no mistakes. I will serve the lord with gladnesz. Peace and love.

Glory glory

Since I laid my burdens down. I must not forget the things god has brought me from. I must not forget that God haz aperfect plan and unlike me it does not have flaws, and will not fail. I understand things much clearer. Like the the isrealites, I am chosen. I know the lord becomes upset when we move in a direction that we are not suppose to. The isrealites were delivered time And time again yet they always seemed to fall short of the glory of God. Although God was angry and let them go through a lfew thing he always stepped in right on time. He gave them victory each and every time. A hard head makes a soft behind but e merciful God will soften the blow. FYI I learned this from the Sunday school lesson I was suppose be teaching the little ones. It truly blessed my soul. Rsad your Word people. I am a living witness that the Word of god pricks and is uplifting provides wosdom and feeds the soul. So happy new year to everyone. Expect greater. Watch out for that ol fool Satan.