On your mark.

I found yet another inspirational word from Miss Kelly Chapman.(www.kellychapman.net) . She is a single mother with a student in college. She is also a singer. She can actually really sing. She is terrified of singing. Her latest post titled "Ready,Set,Go!" Describes her singing with Jennifer Hudson and how terrified she was. She described how she regrets not taking the opportunity to sing with her on stage because of her fear. Mind you she knows she can sing. There isn't a doubt about it. She just gets really nervous. But this woman has a gift. And like the Bible says ,God's word does not come back void. He gave her the gift and whenever she uses it she never falls short of giving God the Glory. I began to wonder...... I recently had choir rehearsal on Friday night. First a little history. I have been singing since I was a child. I would run around my grandmother's house pretending I was singing opera. I would find a station on the radio and mimic the singer. I never knew the exact station but I always found it. Everyone would want me to shut up. I remember all the times that my family members would scream for me to be quiet. A few years later I joined the choir at my elementary school. I learned how to sing from my gut and my director was no joke. He was business. We would travel every to sing. My most memorable moment was singing at the Palmer House Hilton in downtown Chicago. To me that place was a world away. Today it's about 20 minutes away. It was glamorous and we sang our little hearts out for a Christmas showcase. Back then I never questioned myself. I simply did what the director expected....for us to give it our all. Mind you I am not the best singer but whenever I put on my robe I felt like I was the greatest. Flash forward 15 years. I am sitting on a pew with only one fellow soprano. Oh I am somewhat cool on the pew. I can convince myself to give it my all. I remember how to pronounce the words, how to hold the note. Come Sunday morning I am a nervous wreck. I kind of break down. I look out into the congregation and I don't want to be there. As a child you couldn't pay me not to sing. I made sure I had those pantyhose (which I dreaded buying for reasons I'll post at a later time) my skirt and my shoes. On Sunday I look into the balcony and hope to get the courage to sing this thing. Yep I have it bad. I don't know where it comes from. It used to be that I could be me and just sing my little heart out. Well my heart's not so little anymore and I just end up feeling out of place. I know I am not the greatest singer. I'm no Kelly Chapman, Aretha Franklin or Patti Labelle. To some it may sound like me screaming a tune. My prayer is that the Lord knows I am trying. Sans the fact I cannot hear myself whatsoever. I stand there hoping I am singing on the right note. After reading her blog I know that I will not be inking any record deals. But what I want is to sing my heart out for the Lord. I want to sing the words correctly and I want to get it right. There is a vision. I want to make sure I do my part to achieve that vision. I'm not trying sing lead but among the great voices that surround me, I want to finish the set knowing I gave it my all. So the next time the Lord's will is that I pass by the organ and make my way to the altar...... I'll set my mark, I'll get ready, and I'll blow! Pray for me saints. You're in my prayers.